Last night I fell asleep during my bubblegum prayers. Every time I woke up (which is often) I would pick up where I left off...."please god, protect my baby as he grows inside my belly. Let him grow healthy and strong. Let every fiber of his being....from the top of his tiny head to the tip of his little toes, let every inch of Eli be perfect and healthy." The prayers are pretty much on repeat day and night. 

Today I feel weird. I woke up happy to have a visit from one of my best friends and her son. A welcome distraction. We had a good time :) A great time :) But Eli is always in my head and pulling at my heart. I had to dig deep. Put on my game face. I wanted to be in good spirits for my friend, and enjoy her company (which I did and I always do!) but part of me just wanted to lay in bed all day. I feel sick. I'm tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally......I'm drained. All week I have felt so many feelings. I've been up and I've been way down. Today I am just void of emotion. And i'm okay with that.